Overview

 This week I have been thinking a lot about raising children and all that goes into that. Raising children is hard for a lot of reasons. Children can be hard, they can be ungrateful, they can learn from a lot of different places, and it is unfortunately easy for them to learn the wrong thing. One difficulty as a parent or even as someone who is there while the person is being raised (such as a sibling) is knowing how to best raise the child to be a good upstanding person. Part of this raising of children is disciplining them.

Disciplining children (specifically your own) is important. It helps the child recognize that not all their behavior is acceptable. It also helps teach them both what is acceptable and that there is a natural cause and effect due to their behavior. This can then help them course correct and become better, knowing what is right and what isn't. This can also help provide the opposition and punishment that even God uses at the other end of His law. In 2 Nephi 2:10, it tells us about this, saying, "Wherefore, the ends of the law which the Holy One hath given, unto the inflicting of the punishment which is affixed, which punishment that is affixed is in opposition to that of the happiness which is affixed. . . " So if even God, our loving Heavenly Father uses punishment and fixes it to the opposite side of His law, letting us know that that is what will happen if we cross that law, then clearly there is something there.

Disciplining your children can be hard. It can be difficult to know how to discipline your child in a way that they can understand why what is happening. It can and often is difficult to know how much is too much or how much is too little. It can be hard to be both a parent who disciplines and who shows their love. On my mission, I had a number of companions whose parents also struggled with this. One had parents who would yell and sometimes even hit their kids as discipline, and was also inconsistent as to when they would and would not discipline their kids, leaving their kids hurt and confused. I had another whose father would verbally set her down, telling her how much of a disappointment she was and constantly telling her that she was not enough. This same father also never told her that he loved her and rarely gave her compliments.

Both these companions would act out when they felt hurt or upset, the first by yelling and the second by getting mean. It was interesting because this was the way that their parents would discipline them. I know for me, my discipline would often involve talking things out with people (such as if I hurt my siblings I would talk to them or if I didn't do my piano I would talk to my mom), and my punishments would generally include either going to my room or something being taken away. I have also noticed that when I felt hurt or upset I would generally isolate myself in some way, whether by physically going away if possible or just going quiet and after a little bit talking to whoever about what had happened. This to me is really interesting because these experiences seem to suggest that the way you are punished can help you figure out how to react when something happens to hurt you or doesn't go your way.

Disciplining your children or future children can be a very important way to teach your children right from wrong but it is important to think about and be careful of how you are disciplining them for that too will teach them.